What do we not know about love?
Finally, I found the right words and people who could write about sex in such a way that you don’t need to blush
The writer and psychologist and Tatyana Ogorodnikova in collaboration with the candidate of philosophical sciences Vyacheslav Litvinsky and professor Emil Kostin wrote the book “Everything about sex. 100% success: an encyclopedia of sexual relationships. ”
I can confidently say that at last I found the right words and people who were able to write about sex in such a way that they don’t need to blush, be ashamed and hide their eyes on the floor if the moment of revelation comes.
When a Petersburg professor called me and asked to be his co-author, I decided that he was wrong. "What is your area of activity?" I asked, to politely refuse to participate in a dubious project. When the professor answered, a cold sweat broke through me.
It turns out that he devoted his whole life to venereology and sexology! However, I agreed to read what has already been written. So on my table was a tall pile of sheets - a joint work of a venereologist and a philosopher.
Men vs women?
Just think, two respected adult men openly stated that the stronger sex is actually not so strong, and the weak - not so weak. Moreover, they clearly and ironically described how women differ from men. For example, the mechanism of male and female lies was subjected to detailed analysis and clinical trials. You will not believe it, but it turns out that both are good. They lie at random, only the causes of lies often turn out to be so respectful that it is a sin to be offended by deceivers. In this nomination, the female gender confidently won. As it turned out, women lie incomparably more skillfully, with amazing skill and artistry, so they can often easily mislead the interlocutor. Men often lie very unnaturally, so they are much less likely to circle a woman around a finger.
Have you thought about how to talk with a man so that he not only listens to you, but also hears? Not only that, after hearing, really wanted to meet you and fulfill any desire? Judge for yourself: a man interrupts a girlfriend 2 times more often during a conversation, but listens attentively for only 10-15 seconds, after which he is inclined to give any answer without specifying information. Men have serious difficulties in information processing of what has been said by a woman also because she uses five tone levels, and he is able to catch only three. As a result, the subconscious of the unfortunate person “saves” him and turns off due to the overwhelming superiority of the interlocutor. But for the sake of objectivity, it should be noted that according to the observations of scientists in men's words, the main thing is not quantity, but quality. For example, if you heard a mean “love” from a silent person, then keep in mind that this is honest, serious and for a long time. The second time, perhaps this will not be said for you.
Male friendship and love
The next surprise for me was the study of friendships of all kinds. I thought that if the book “Everything About Sex. 100% success: the encyclopedia of sexual relationships ”came to me twenty years ago, I would immediately say goodbye to my neighbor Lena, who for a long time was my best friend and part-time replaced me in a conjugal bed. Unfortunately, there was no book then. I had to study everything in my own skin.
One of my favorite chapters is about marriage in different countries. Now I know exactly how our marriages differ from Italian, Japanese or, for example, Thai. The concept of "Swedish family" today has acquired a completely different meaning for me, which has nothing to do with the generally accepted. I even think that our compatriots at heart wanted so much like the Swedes that they exceeded all conceivable expectations. If earlier it was believed that the Swedish family consists of three adults, the modern Russian often hospitably accepts an unlimited number of people who want to be part of it. Restrictions are possible only by gender and age - preferably women not older than 22. Studying Turkish family traditions makes us seriously think about our compatriots who marry Turks. But the French were very pleased with the balanced approach to organizing the family space. It turns out that a French man may well begin to take care of his friend’s wife (this is in the order of things), but he will never seduce his daughter, since she herself is not able to make a reasonable decision in this situation. In our country, it is precisely for these reasons that an adult, as a rule, a family man makes a decision for a young lady, moreover, takes responsibility for her future. So there are talented singers, actresses and TV presenters.
About the benefits of pheromones
They say: “Love is evil - you will love a goat!” - or, more decently, love is blind. I can tell you why they say that. You probably know what pheromones and endorphins are. So, endorphin is not only a "hormone of love." In its pure form, it is a chemical substance that reduces pain, relieves stress and causes a feeling of euphoria. It is able to bring a person into a state close to drug intoxication. As a result, the part of the brain that is responsible for critical analysis ceases to function in a person. From here the idealization of lovers of their partners appears. Now, I think, one more expression has become clear: "There are no ugly women, there is not enough vodka."
Middle age crisis
Surely you will regret men by reading the following lines: “In women, blood in the vessels of the brain flows faster than in men. This feature largely compensates for the aging of the female brain. Men with age-related changes experience much greater loss of brain tissue, which becomes noticeable by the age of 45. ” So much for the midlife crisis! So, dear ladies, it is likely that we will reconsider our attitude to the “crisis” tricks of our men if we realize that this is caused by mild degeneration of brain activity.
Why do they love with eyes?
By the way, in our book you will find an explanation of the saying "Women love with their ears, men with their eyes." In men, it turns out that neurons that lead to the visual centers work faster. But the hearing centers are much less developed. Accordingly, draw conclusions and soberly assess your benefits. Spy less, eavesdrop more! But what about the fact that rarely shaving men have a much higher risk of stroke and heart attack than those who shave regularly? Do you know why bald men have increased sexuality? What makes a man fall asleep immediately after making love, and a woman in half an hour? How to calmly survive a divorce or avoid it altogether? Ufff ... Now I know so much that I will feel like a mean and low person if I don’t share my knowledge with you. By the way, it is important: the upbringing of children and grandmothers is also covered by the advice of specialists. In particular, Victor Hugo, who said: "To change a person, you need to start with his grandmother." I would ask Victor: “Why not from grandfather?” But, imagine, preventive St. Petersburg scientists gave an answer to this question. Therefore, let's leave the classic alone.
Call of nature
Let's better think about what questions we ask ourselves when something in a relationship with a loved one goes wrong? First question: “How could he (she) have done this ?!” Another “Why did he (she) do this (a)?” Believe me, the book has the answers to these questions. Sometimes it’s really easier to forgive your other half and reanimate a good relationship, because the motivation for the action becomes clear. When you understand that a man will stop turning his head in a restaurant, watching the pretty girls look, only if he cuts off this very head, it becomes a little more fun. If you find out that socks and trousers are lying around the apartment in spite of you, but because nature so orders him, then you begin to treat this mockery with respect. When you open a win-win algorithm of behavior during an acquaintance, a first meeting and further relationships, you feel like just the mistress of the world. Of course, it is necessary to know the answers to the above questions, but not enough.
It is even more important to know the answer to the question "How to avoid what we do not want?" Forewarned is forearmed. Just don’t think that family life is a constant planning of strategies and choice of tactics. It is enough to think over a long-term program of work on family happiness, and, believe me, you will not find a better guide than the encyclopedia I have described. Love each other and be happy!